Pizza! Pizza!

qruho8m

Ever had that conversation with your partner/roommate/cat that goes like this?

Self: I know we should really cook dinner with this food we have and save money.

P/R/C: Yeah…/mrow…

Self: Want to just order pizza?

P/R/C: YEAH!/what do I care, I’m a cat.

Yeah. we had that one a lot, and we ordered a lot of pizza. (The cat never got any.) Because you know what pizza is? It is delicious and easy. Here in New York we even have this magical thing called “dollar slice” which is exactly what it sounds like, a plain slice for a buck. Thin, crispy crust, gooey cheese, and once you shake some red pepper flakes on it, that’s the best dollar you’re going to spend today. I love pizza.

It’s not exactly LOW carb though. Enter another recipe from ruled.me. This one I’ve done a lot less tweaking to than I did to the Buffalo, but it’s a favorite, and I made (and devoured) it last night, so I may as well discuss. It does involve some non-standard american diet ingredients, so watch out!

✹

You’re going to want:

3.5 cups Mozzarella Cheese
3/4 cup Almond Flour
1 tbsp. Psyllium Husk Powder
3 tbsp. Cream Cheese
1 large egg
basil (or oregano, generic Italian seasoning, whatever suits you)
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. pepper
pizza toppings that make you happy, I used pepperoni

	Some new stuff here, for those of you who are not low carb lifers! I use the Trader Joe’s almond meal, you’ll see both flour and meal out there, it’s usually based on the coarseness of the grind, but there doesn’t appear to be any standardization to it. It only really matters if you’re baking, which this really isn’t… Trader Joe’s also supplied my psyllium husk powder, which is often used as a dietary supplement but in this case is largely used as a binder.
I’m a big fan of measuring things by weight in general, but this is particularly useful, at least if you bought your cheese shredded in bulk. Yes, I’m measuring it in the pan. One less dish.
	Melt the cheeses, mozz and cream, over low heat in a nonstick skillet. I keep thinking about using the double boiler I don’t have for it, and you might rather use the microwave you DO have, but for now, this works.
This is about the melty consistency you’re looking for. If you get a few browned spots, it’s no big deal, I frequently do and it’s never noticeable in the finished crust.
	While the cheese is melting, mix together your almond flour I also do this by weight – 3/4c. is about 90g) and psyllium husk with salt and pepper. Then mix in the egg.
This produces a really dry, clumpy mess. Psyllium husk is extremely hygroscopic, and it’s going to just suck all the moisture from that egg. I prefer to mix it with a fork, easier to clean.
	Now the cheese. This is the messy part. You can start the mixing with a fork, which is good, the cheese is pretty warm, but you’re going to want to just get your hand in there before long. Trust me on this one, take your rings off.
Silpats are amazing. I would probably just make excuses for NOT making this without mine. Flip a half sheet pan over to serve as a flat baking surface (or if you have cookie sheets without edges, go for it. I do not.) Put the lump of cheese dough in the middle. You can divide in two here if you wish, the baked crust stores well for later pizza needs, or you can make two varieties without much trouble.
	Use the olive oil to coat your hand (it’s ok that it’s still goopy from mixing) and flatten the dough ball out, spreading it gently to the edges of your mat. See that dark spot on mine? Sub-par mixing! It was still good.
Pop that bad boy into a 400 degree oven for ten minutes. It will come out looking a lot like naan, or a similar flatbread.
	After ten minutes, flip the crust so that the toastier side is up and bake for another 4 minutes. I use a second silpat for this, placing it over the top and then using two hot mits to flop it upside down and then put it back on the sheet. When it comes out, it’s time to make it into a pizza. I just coat it in olive oil and shake basil on it. If you like tomato sauce, now’s the time.
I like to put a layer of pepperoni down before the cheese.
	And after… Back into the oven for 5-10 minutes, depending on how crispy you want it.
This produces a fairly thin and crispy pizza, we generally eat the whole thing between two of us.